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It is still beyond the control of elders to understand love properly. The effect of first sight at the age of 16 takes with it different expectations as it grows older. On the occasion of Valentine’s Day, meet a couple whose love story (Love story of Shailbala Martin and Rakesh Pathak) started in the age of Fifty Plus. We are talking about senior journalist Dr. Rakesh Pathak (Journalist Dr. Rakesh Pathak) and senior administrative officer Shailbala Martin (IAS officer Shailbala Martin) in Madhya Pradesh Government (MP Govt.). In this exclusive interview of Health Shots, they both speak their hearts out.
First introduction and further talk
Talking about the beginning of their love story, Shailbala Martin says, “This attraction started from my side. Not because we have to go ahead and get married, but I used to hear him speak in many TV debates. I really liked his logic and style of speaking. I am also interested in politics and enjoy listening to debates.
The boldness with which he speaks in today’s environment impressed me a lot. While scrolling through Facebook, when I saw his picture in You May Know, I wondered if he is the same person whom we often hear in TV debates! There was no introduction, I just sent a friend request.
How was the beginning of a new relationship possible after the separation of the spouse?
After 25 years of married life of Dr. Rakesh Pathak, his first wife had died. His elder daughter was also married and the younger daughter and wife’s mother, i.e. Rakesh Pathak’s mother-in-law lived with him in the house. His position regarding this new relationship was different from that of Shailbala ji. He says, “Initially we had not thought of anything like this. Rather we both did not know each other properly. I came to know his thoughts after joining him on Facebook. This Aami also writes a travelogue named Jajabor. From her I felt that she is an administrative officer who can read and write.
“Shailbala ji is of very secular ideology like us. Phone numbers were exchanged after ideological reconciliation, then there were formal meetings like a journalist and an administrative officer. It was in these meetings that it was revealed that he has not married yet. Then his age was 56 years, I am a widower, he also came to know only then. We got to know each other while talking about society, politics and administrative environment.
Intimacy started increasing during the Corona period
Dr. Pathak further explains, “By then the second wave of Corona epidemic had started. Some of us had formed a morcha together, in which we used to feed the migrant laborers from Gujarat and Maharashtra. I realized that during that time she used to worry a lot about me. Then I felt that they have some concern for me.
This is how things went, although it was very difficult for both of us to decide to get married. But my daughters and their grandmother expressed great happiness over this relationship. Other friends and relatives also openly welcomed this relationship. Today we are together and are happy.”
Virtual world also contributed
Rakesh ji is really very different. His qualities are so many that I am impressed. The best thing is that they are very loving people. Very co-operative. When I used to read the social media posts of Dr. Pathak, I used to read the comments that came on it. After reading them, I came to know that Dr. Pathak has a lot of respect in the society and people trust him. Meeting them, I came to know that as they appear outside, they are actually like that.
Simplicity Attracts
Dr. Pathak says, “As far as being an IAS is concerned, it is very easy. Its simplicity attracted me the most. I meet a lot of people, but they are very comfortable. Meeting him, I came to know that he is not one of the different class we talk about. Despite holding high positions, she is not the kind of IAS officer who keeps herself aloof. She is a very soulful and loving woman.
“After knowing the amount of cooperation he has done for the society and the family, my respect for him had increased further. Even during the Corona period, people were seeing my work on social media. But she alone was doing a lot of work behind the scenes. Then I felt that this is the kind of personality that a person should have.
The decision to marry was difficult
The second question you asked is absolutely correct that when we are young, we are afraid of our parents and when we grow up, we care about our children. I myself am a very social person. I don’t want to do anything that will tarnish my image in the society or make people talk about me. The daughters were also worried.
The daughters wanted me to start my life again. She was worried that father was alone after mother left. The elder daughter was married and the younger daughter was about to get engaged. He was worried that we would become engrossed in our own world, and how would Papa be left alone. You would be surprised that she used to reprimand me for this time and again.
In fact, once on my birthday, Shailbala ji sent a cake to my address in Gwalior. I was not at home and the elder daughter opened the packet. He inquired about Shailbala ji, found her on Facebook, saw her photos, knew her views and when he came to know that she is unmarried and we are somewhat friendly.
Since then, her insistence was that I should know Shailbala ji’s wish, whether she would like to stay with me for the rest of her life? Although the daughters had no objection to our friendship or being in live-in.
Yes but had to think a little. Firstly, with age, some things become reserved. But we didn’t face any problem. When we became life partners from friends, we did not face any inconvenience.
a lot changes with age
Rakesh Pathak: Actually we both had come to know a lot about each other. We have a lot of interests in common. That’s why there was never any problem. Although each person is of a different type. It is not necessary that everyone should be the same, even if there are some disagreements, we have decided that we can move forward with them as well. We got married according to the Sanatan method and the Christian method as well. It is true that it is difficult to adjust in old age, but we did not face any problem in adjusting with each other.
Watch the full interview here:
Some things she accepts as mine, some things I accept as hers and on some things we both stand firm on our respective fronts.
Shailbala Martin: The doctor has already told many things, but one problem with me was that I have been living alone ever since I joined the job. My only concern for myself was that after living alone for thirty-thirty-one years, would I be able to adjust with someone in the family? Being friends or being in love is one thing, but living together full time is another.
Read this also – Valentines Day special: Currently single and in love: Ananya Pandey
I was also afraid that whether I would be able to meet the needs of Dr. Pathak or not, whether I would be able to give him space or not, whether I would be able to take care of him or not? Because I was not used to these things. But when we started living together, we complemented each other. Dr. Pathak took care of my shortcomings and I took care of Dr. Pathak’s shortcomings.
Just a little bit of salt and pepper, which is always there in husband and wife, is also there between us. This should also happen, because of this the relationship remains good. We are at that stage of age where both of us are mature. Even if there is a problem, we find a solution by talking. Ego is not in both of us, so it is another good thing.
How do I find time?
Shailbala: Throughout the day, both of us are busy in our respective work. But in the evening we go out for a walk everyday. Sometimes before dinner or after dinner. He participates in all the art and culture programs held in Bhopal. Right now I don’t have field duty, so every Saturday-Sunday both of us go out for a walk. I have decided to spend the weekend together.
You two tell me what is love really for you?
Shailbala: Love has been like this for me from the beginning, where we take care of each other. Respect each other’s wishes. This is the definition of my love for my mother, brother and other family members as well. Yes, in married life or in a romantic relationship, the expectations of love increase a bit more. But even there the core remains the same.
Dr. Pathak: Love is what Kabir Das ji has said, “Prem na bari upje, prem na haat bikai. The king takes the body wherever he likes.
The meaning of taking off the head is that you have to take off your ego and hide it. There should be no ego towards the person you are in love with. Dedication towards each other, the spirit of sacrificing anything is love. I am fortunate to have found such a life partner at this point in my life.
Read this also – Self-love is most important: Actress, social media influencer Achint Kaur
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